Friday, July 13, 2007
Guys, i know this is suppose to be a class blog, and i apologise for indulging in my own ramblings. I jez really needed to get it off my chest, so please, skip this post, and pretend you don't see it.

Ok. so here i am, at the starbucks joint(not surprising) which was formally Hello!Singtel, and i'm jez sitting here, with my cafe latte(as usual) and a laptop in front of me. I'm finally getting to watch this fantastic show, 'Before Sunrise' which took me 3 bloody weeks to download on bittorrent, you know, basically jez chilling.

But here's the thing. It wasn't supposed to be this way. Right here, right now, i am supposed to be hyperventilating, my thought process filled with all the 'what's gonna happen later' on my big, momentous, once in 2 years meet with you-know-who. But here i am, all by myself, jez chilling. As usual, the big 'date' which i envisioned amounted to nothing because i was stood up at the last min once more. My only consolation? at least the movie is good.

Before Sunrise is just a movie that chronicles the journey that two souls take and how their lives, for just one day, became entwined together as their paths crossed each-others. what set this movie apart from all the other chick-flicks is this: It isn't about the sex, or the money or the magical coincidences between two people as portrayed in most chick-flicks, but rather, all this movie shows is 2 very different people, coming together and just talking, learning about each other, and you can feel the attraction between them without it being literally translated to you by the actors; you are free to intepret what love, and chemistry means/represents to you.

Imagine this: Is it really possible for 2 complete strangers to hit it off immediately, with this invisible connection and chemistry binding them both? Is there really room for such a spontaneous relationship in our practical, reality-driven world? I honestly don't have the answer to that question. I would like to believe in all the ambiguity of life, you know? Fate, Love and all the other bullshit. But you have to admit that life, or love as portrayed in the movies are just a fairy-tale.

But, as i look to my left, reality gives me a little hope that all the ambiguity that's protrayed in the movies does have a little truth. Seated right next to me, are two people, jez having a drink. They're jez talking, but their body language jez gives it all away, jez like what i was watching in the movie. He's shifting his body uncomfortably, smiling like a complete ass, while she is jez sipping on her frappucino, ankles-crossed, not willing to make eye-contact. They seem self-absorbed in their own little world, in their own thought process(no prizes for guessing who they're thinking about), and even a complete stranger like me could sense their attraction.

I dunno, maybe i'm jez rambling on and on about this emo-bullshit, but there's sthg i see and can relate to that i can't really explain. what i see in the movies, and what i saw jez now brings me back to a little experience i had, an experience so unforgettable, that it is still etched deeply in my heart and in my mind. An experience which i was looking forward to re-living, but evidenly, i came out short.
I know what it feels like to jez spend a good hour or two with that special someone over a cuppa coffee. and i've been yearning to re-live that experience ever since.
Every single moment we shared is still remembered in vivid clarity, as if it only took place the day before.

And these memories, though beautiful, haunts me every single waking minute. There are things i would like to say everyday, but i can only say it once every 2 years or so. And i am so afraid, that i am never going to get the chance to lift this burden off my chest. It's particularly painful when you hold something or someone too close for too long, and there will finally come a moment when you have no choice but to let go.

I am still waiting for that moment.

-alvin
by ~me~ at 4:24 PM ©

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