Friday, September 28, 2007
i guess some of the people here will feel or felt that we are being mediocre. like, we hae what it takes to achieve something more than what we have now, but somehow the situation never permits us. we're like stagnant, unable to proceed to the next step in life. we're 20 man. and like look at the newspapers or magazines which feature prominent figures who made it big even before the age of 20, be it celerities in the hollywood circle or young computer or financial wizards who reel in cash like nobody's business. even in our daily lives, like you feel envious of the scholars in your school. like, they are on the path of bringing new and significant changes to the society (presumably, since they get excessive privileges), then we look at ourselves and wonder what the fuck are we doing.
sigh. we certainly have the potential to stand on par with them or even outshine them. we always keep to ourselves the very nagging question of why are they there in the spotlight while we're like stuck with the other 90 percent who can only watch ?
i cetainly feel this way. one way which most people would feel is that, i'm comfortable where i am, it's not like i have to do something extraordinary to feel happy. true. happiness of course varies from one and another and if one is happy with living an ordinary life, by all means he should be entitled to go ahead with it.
when the awareness of me living in mediocrity struck me, i stood at a crossroad. i could go with the above mentioned mentality and stay ignorantly happy, or i can try to make something out of my life. and now, i can say that
i am still at that freaking crossroad. right.
anyway, it brings me to another topic dealing with National Service. it is a matter of significant importance for guys cos we are compelled to spend 2 years serving our national service. i must say that there were times when i grumbled about having to serve NS. i was frustrated with all the little nuances and major screw-ups in the military. i was even tempted to 'keng' my way through these 2 years. but i constantly evaluated my feelings and experiences.
people are always complaining that NS is a waste of our time. like, dude, if you feel like it's a waste of your time, it surely will be. you can defend yourself and say that you're doing sai kang or your vocation is like basically brainless etc. it is a vicious cycle - the situation gives you an impression, you take that impression and generate a matching response and it results in the same situation which will happen again. and again. until you ORD.
i always try to tell my buddies in camp to look at things differently. look, you think that whatever practices are wrong or ineffective then try to be in a position to influence change, or at least minimize the damage done to your immediate surroundings. i always get fucked. i always get sai kang. and then get fucked again. but do you hear me bitch and bitch about it ? i do. but only when it's really getting to me. mostly i portray a look of indifference and give the impresion of having a good life. you look like shit, you make people around you feel shitty. why give yourself unwanted trouble ?
people always complain about camp food. i agree that it can get really bad sometimes. then dont eat. if you complain about not having the opportunity or financial means to buy outside food, then eat it. i admit that i cant survive financially if i buy food from the canteen, so i tiam tiam and eat the food. voicing out your petty frustrations serves no real purpose other than to give rise to others making similar remarks. so yes, tiam tiam and eat your food. one time when my coursemates were bitching loudly about the food, i told him in the face that if he sincerely feels that he cant eat it. then dont. he glared at me, but he kept quiet after that.
unknowingly, army can show others who you really are. if you are truly mediocre, then you will engage in endless bitching etc etc about army and yet nothing comes out from you - even if you are a scholar or prominent figure in society. deep down, you're still as base as anyone of us, maybe even worse. if you want to make something out of it, then just deal with the little incoveniences and at least show some character.

alson
by ~me~ at 8:01 PM ©

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Sunday, September 09, 2007
My first french poem... haha.

La soleil dans tes yeux
La musique dans ta voix
Le charme dans ton sourire
Ta presence dans mon coeur

-Alvin
by ~me~ at 8:09 AM ©

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Tuesday, September 04, 2007
"and it will be lost, like tears in the rain"
by ~me~ at 6:57 PM ©

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